Out of the office: Tell 'em...

I am out of the office tomorrow doing interviews at another site. Which left me with the dilemma of what to leave on my voice mail. So what to tell people if they ask..

"but if anyone should ask..
tell them i've been lickin' coconut skins
and we've been hanging out
tell them god just dropped by to forgive our sins
and relieve us our doubt"

-Coconut Skins lyrics, Damien Rice

Well it is better than just saying I am out leave a message and I will get back to you. No, I don't know where Damien Rice gets his lyrics from but they are pretty out there.

While I am on the subject of answer phone messages to all those people that make up a message pretending it is actually them answering the phone and not a recording. I am taking names and you are being put at the top of the list. So come the revolution you will be the first in front of the firing squad and you will not be offered a blind fold. It is not particularly funny and if you have to ring the phone several times it is just annoying.

Tomorrow I have some more job applicants to torture, give me a film crew and I could have a whole new reality tv show. I could even have guest interviewers or interviewee's. We could interview a selection of candidates for top jobs. It would be great.

I am thinking interviewers could be Terry Wogan (Friendly irish interviewer), Ross Kemp (Scary interviewer), Bill Turnbull (Smart posh interviewer), Carole Kirkwood (Friendly weather girl), Richard Branson (Friendly businessman), Alan Sugar( No messing business man), Michael Portillo (Sensible politician) and for comedy value Prince Phillip or Prince Charles.

Interviewees could be Des Lynam, David Beckham, Anneka Rice, Lenny Henry, Victoria Wood, Bruce Willis, Phillip Schofield, Ant and Dec, and John Simpson.

You could create a fantasy job or interview them for one of their roles and see who does the best. Obviously it would be sensible interviewing not aggressive 'apprentice' style interviewing. Like all reality shows we would need someone like Davina McCall to give them a shoulder to cry on after I have grilled them.