To leak or not to leak: 5 types of leaker

Another day, another leak. Goes nicely with cheese don't you know.On a more serious note who is behind a leak and what are their motivations.

First, I suppose is the "knight leaker". They do it because the public should know about this travesty / abomination, they are people of honour and integrity, a shining example to us all. I imagine them to be people who have campaigned internally for the information to be released and get frustrated enough, realise it will never come to light unless they take a stand and do it themselves. I imagine these people have true moral dilemmas over loyalty and accepting what the right thing to do is. I imagine the decision to leak wins over loyalty on the basis it is for the good of mankind.

An example of this type of leak is that a government department has failed to keep track of 50,000 immigrants and has not put in place any policy to resolve the issue. Or Revenues and Customers have notice 50,000 tax errors but are only chasing those that have underpaid.

Then there must be the "profit leaker", they have information that someone wants and is willing to pay catch for it. Psychologically they think they can easily get away with it or the profit outweighs the risk. They have no moral dilemmas and are motivated by pure hard cash which might get them a new car or a house in the country. They also think there is no victim and it is perfectly harmless.

These people might be giving away confidential information such as who has quoted what for a government tender or giving away personal details such as bank details they might have access to.

Next will be the "thrill seeker leaker", this small group purely like being the centre of attention, they might be the secretary's and assistant's who are underpaid and over worked. Yet now they control the information and can leak something important. Again they think it is harmless, at least at first, then they might display addictive tendencies, aching for just one more leak. They probably carry on until they get caught or just get too greedy and leak something too big to go unnoticed.

Then there is the "revenge leaker" these have information which put someone in a bad light. They can also twist the information to be out of context, perhaps by lifting quotes which in isolation look bad. This is a very politically motivated leak and might be to discredit a rival. I imagine there are some labour supporters in government departments who pass things to Labour so the Tories look bad.

Finally, there is the "false leaker", these are the government sponsored leaks to test public opinion. I would imagine 50% of leaks at least, have semi official approval because if they leak the document they can canvas public opinion for free and if there is unanimous disapproval of a leak the party involved can always go on record and say it was a "blue sky" discussion document that was drafted and circulated at a low level. The document was never meant for public consumption and was discarded at an early stage. Most importantly the government or other party has plausible deniability.

As a way to canvas public opinion for free you cant really fault it.

I think today's announcement is of the false leak variety. The government can canvas opinion and see how much support some of these bodies or organisations have. If the hordes start to advance on Downing street they can always deny there was ever any intention to abolish the organisations. Plausible deniability and smoke and mirrors, now its policy now its not.

From West Wing to the real thing (The Guardian)

For the last few days I have felt that Barack Obama reminded me of someone and then it hit me there is a link back to the Presidential Campaign of Matthew Santos in "The West Wing".

It was the plain speaking approach of Obama that finally reminded me of Santos. Truth often follows fiction but according to the linked article fiction followed truth only for truth to follow on again, if you see what I mean.

My question will be, in the forth coming election will the "West Wing" story line have subconsciously prepared American voters to vote Obama. Will the fact that in the show Santos won prepare voters for a Obama victory, have the lines between the show, which was almost like a documentary at times, and reality somehow blurred.

"I have never ended on an unstressed syllable!" (The Guardian)

Everyone likes a good rant against the system at some point. There are always useless jobsworths who deserve to be put in their place. I often feel like writing snotty emails to people but it really only gets you into trouble. The best thing to do is phone them up, then there is no hard record of the conversation and you can always claim you were misinterpreted.

Or my other little petty thing is to use the phrase , "If you do have any further queries do hesitate to contact me in the future."

Should they spot the missing not you can simply claim it was a typing error. OK so a small rebellion in the great battle against the dumb and unhelpful.

Anyway Giles Coren, restaurant critic for the times is plagued by sub editors who mess around with his submissions changing the context and destroying his perfectly formed prose. On occasion he writes a snotty note to the sub-editors. Some of them are so good that they hvae escaped onto the internet. They are so good you should go read the article but to give you a teaser here are some of the best lines.

"It's not ******* rocket science. It's ******* pre-GCSE scansion. I have written 350 restaurant reviews for The Times and I have never ended on an unstressed syllable. ....."

He signs the email "All the best" which is a nice touch.

"...what do you think you can achieve with that kind of dumb-wittted smart-arsery?"

"never ask me to write something for you. and don't pay me. i'd rather take £400 quid for assassinating a crack whore's only child in a revenge killing for a busted drug deal - my integrity would be less compromised."

The guardian article does note sadly that these are abridged but not subedited - versions of the emails.

In part you can have the same rant about the Grammer-nazi's on the internet, who insist on correct spelling and grammer even though they are no experts. I have posted on them before and still insist that content is far more important than grammer.

Giles Coren, a glass with you my friend.

Envelope Psychology: 'See you soon' or 'See you later'

Question:

What do you most often say, or which of the following phrases would you use?

"See you soon."

OR

"See you later."

Theory:

Which phrase you use or choose says something psychological about your personality. Well it might do, I am not sure but this is my notes from the back of the proverbial envelope.

See you soon.

You have a nurturing personality. Usage of this phrase suggests an emotional attachment to the subject and it acts as a reminder both to you and them that you care. This is predominantly but not exclusively use by females who tend to be more emotive in their language. It also suggests that you fully intend to see them and may already in your mind be making plans to do so.

See you later.

You have a more pragmatic, practical personality. Usage of this phrase is slightly dismissive in that the meeting is at an end but we will meet again later at some unspecified point which is not guaranteed. This is predominantly but not exclusively used by males who tend to be more pragmatic in their language. It does not suggest that a further meeting is expected and certainly no thought has been given to a future meeting but such a date may already have been arranged or will be in the future.

Disclaimer:

I base the above on limited anecdotal evidence but I am open to a debate of the issues. I myself use "See you later" and know at least two female friends who always use "See you soon". I realise this is not conclusive evidence but it did make me pose a theorem.

Meeting sign language

Have you ever been in a meeting where there are perhaps ten or twelve of you round a table, maybe you and a few team colleagues together with management / clients / customers? Perhaps you are having a pivotal discussion about the future. You need to be in sync with your team to carry the day.

How cool would it be to have an in-house sign language to give your team pointers or more info about what you are thinking. The bonus would be you could have a subtext conversation below the main conversation but one where only your team understand it.

You might want to sign things like:

"I don't agree with them"

"I agree"

"We need to support this idea"

"We need to close this idea down"

"I need your support"

"Lets wrap this up"

"I think we need a break"

"We need to negotiate on price"

"This is going nowhere"

" We need to get back on track"

You wouldn't need a whole new language just about 20 or so key phrases to help out during the meeting. After all organisations already invent their own verbal and written languages, how about inventing an organisational specific non verbal language?

The people you accidentally meet while travelling

I'm guessing a lot of people will know what I mean when I say sometimes when travelling but train or bus you meet somebody lovely. Usually it is me watching the man and woman who have just met talking like best friends for two hours but today on a First Great Western train from the West to Reading it was me.

One of those moments which you don't expect but are unmissable, possibly one of the moments in life which take your breath away.

I didn't get her phone number, I did see if she wanted a drink and although she said she was tempted she was on her way to a rugby match so had to decline. She flashed me a smile and was off.

While day dreaming my way through the rest of the journey I thought about the fairy tale lonely hearts where people say they saw someone on the train etc.

Specifically I was thinking of the impulse advertisements that have been running in the uk over the last two years. If you don't know what I mean here is one to watch.

So what would be my advert for today's little encounter, how about these two:

• Aspiring dress designer -
  

You had me in stitches.

• Train home girl -

You left tracks in my mind.

Bring Back 'Whose Line Is It Anyway?'

I have been watching the run of the American version of 'Whose Line Is It Anyway?' on FiveUS. It is just as good as the older UK version.

For those of you who have never come across this show it is about improvisational comedy. A panel of four comedians are given a series of party games where a character or situation is given to them and they have to improvise the scene.

Some of the games have included, the Hoedown where they have to sing a hoedown based on a suggestion from the audience for example singing about being a fast food worker.

Another games is helping hands where one comedian provides the hands for another comedian from behind their back. Usually involving food or other props these games could get a bit messy.

The great thing about the show was this it was very hard, comedians had to think quickly on their feet to make you laugh and sometimes in failing they made you laugh even harder.

There were some regulars on the panel including Colin Mochrie, Ryan Stiles and Greg Proops which allowed for running jokes and a more intimate feeling about the show.

There has never been a show that has come close to replacing it and I think it should be bought back. Mix some of the old stars with the new talent that has built up in the late 90's and 00's. This type of comedy show is comedy on the edge it is all about whether comedians are still funny without a script. This is the heart of comedy finding the funny in any situation and making people laugh.

The show was always less pretentious than modern so called comedy quiz shows, it was notscripted, packaged and prepared. No one scored points off an obvious stooge participant, it was simply about making people laugh.

Come on some UK network programme commissioner bring back 'Whose Line Is It Anyway?'. I personally guarantee there is a gap in the market for a simple less packaged programme that just makes you laugh.

Speeches that changed the world

I have seen this book around and it spoke to me as a book that should really be in my collection. After all like most people I am aware of great speeches like the Gettysburg address or the 'I have a dream speech' but I have never actually read them. Plus I am fascinated by such things so when a book token came into my hands I went to get the book.

The speeches have been chosen because of their impact on the world. Some were made by great men, some by evil men and other were made at the right time in the right place.

As good history always does they give us pause for thought sometimes exposing humanity at its greatest and weakest. History has much to teach us and so do these speeches.

Recruitment, Life and Death Decisions

Whilst doing some assessment centre work recently I was doing my usual second thoughts process of watching people.

One of the ideas of this particular brand of recruitment centre is that as they pass each stage we tell them the result.Obviously as it becomes more involved in the later stages it becomes really serious. When I was telling some of the candidates that it was time to go home I was crushing their dreams, they had almost not considered failure and who was I to tell them it was all over.

A "No" in these situations will remain a "No" and the only thing I can do is spend some time with them explain any feedback and de-brief them. For some it is still a great shock and disappointment.

My day consisted of going from "No" candidates to "Yes" candidates, so one minute I would be watching a face go from worried to full beam smile, and the next worried to despair.

Now that is not a good description of how the candidates were taking these decisions, so I came up with an analogy to describe the reactions.

Dead Cat / Resuscitated Cat

The idea is that instead of telling them Yes / No I can tell them a story to get the same reactions. Here are my two stories:

Dead Cat

I am sorry but your cat has died, there was nothing I could do.

Resuscitated Cat

Your cat is going to be fine, the operation was a complete success and we have managed to save her. She will be running around in no time.

I can imagine the reactions on the peoples faces would be the same that I have seen.

Of course the amazing things is the very variety of reactions that I get, especially when I tell them they have got the job offer. Some people barely react and it is always difficult to tell whether they are just really cool headed people or whether what I am saying has just not sunk in yet.

I guess it all goes to show that we are all individuals.

On another note if I were feeling like creating myself a new job title maybe I should call myself the "Death of Cats" making decisions of life and death.