The London 2012 Olympic Logo - the back story

Unless you have been on another planet lately, in which case welcome to earth, you must have witnessed the birth of the 2012 London Olympic logo.

It is going to win awards, no really it will win worst logo 2007, and 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, worst logo 21st century in 2099 and worst logo for the third millennia in 2999.

Given that it is the worst logo ever designed you have to wonder how it came to be designed in the first place. I find it difficult to believe that a conversation like this ever occurred:

Olympic representative: Let's have a look at the logo, then.
Designer: Here you go.
OR: Nice, like it, it will really speak to the people.
D: Thanks.
OR: Here is your £400,000 cheque.
D: Sweet.

That can not be the true back story of the designing of the Olympic logo. So here are some other more likely scenarios:

1. The Missing Apprentice Episode.

Most people have not noticed but the BBC1 series "the Apprentice" is actually one episode short this year. A reliable mole in the BBC1 PR Department tells me there is one episode that was recorded but will never be broadcast.

Sir Alan after reviewing the tape for this one show refused to participate any further unless the show was pulled. The BBC did try to argue but Margaret Mountford had a meeting with several senior executives at the Corporation. What occurred at this meeting is not recorded but the pre-release tapes were pulled from the PR department and all references were removed from show notes.

However, Sir Alan only pulled that one show, for some reason no one remembered that they had already edited the teaser for next weeks show which was at the end of the previous week. This was remedied one day later but thankfully the BBC being a bureaucracy with procedures had already sent that previous week's show for transcription. Apparently transcription is necessary not only for subtitling purposes but for legal and archive purposes.

Sir Alan only ever pulled the footage and remains unaware of the existence of the transcript of the teaser. The BBC have since destroyed and rewritten the transcript for that show with the new teaser. However my mole in the PR Department has managed to supply me with the original teaser transcript.


Voiceover: Next week, on The Apprentice the two teams must design a logo for a special event.
[Cut to Sir Alan, briefing the teams]
Sir Alan: Right 2012 Olympics, really special event, going to be a really big event for London and the UK. Now, Why are we standing in front of Big Ben, well the Olympics is going to need a true icon in the form of a logo. You each have a design team who are going to help you design a logo which must be simple, modern and is not going to date over the product lifespan.

Voiceover: but trouble soon flares.

Tre: It doesn't matter that the logo looks rubbish, I can see bull**** to anyone.

Katie:Tre just doesn't understand that he isn't going to be the symbol for the Olympic games. I just hope they pick Tre for the Olympic torch.


Voiceover: and in the boardroom Sir Alan is not impressed.

Sir Alan: You piss my money up the wall, you bring me a logo that looks like some modern art rubbish. What have you got to say for yourself?

Tre: It is a post modern classical iconic logo , Sir Alan.

Sir Alan: Its a pile of vomit, is what it is? Fetch me a bit of paper I can vomit on it, write 2012 and London beneath it . Is that what you did? Katie , who's fault is this?

Katie: it was a team decision.

Sir Alan: Right I have had enough, both designs are rubbish, you completely ignored my advice, Tre's team only win because they actually turned up with a design, you other lot are a shower and missed your deadline by arguing about swirls.

Katie: We are still winners right!

Sir Alan: No, your all fired, that's it....

2. April 1st: Location 10 Downing Street.
Transcript of meeting between TB and GB regarding new Olympic logo.

TB: Have you got that new logo yet, we have time for that before cabinet.
GB: Here it is?
TB: That's it?
GB: Yes.
TB: But that's utter rubbish. Even David Cameron can paint better than that.
GB: It is a £400,000 logo.
TB: What's your point?
GB: Well you can't pay £400,000 for a rubbish logo can you?
TB: Well no, but that's not the point, send it back.
GB: We can't, it has already been approved and paid for.
TB:How?
GB:It was a project which was part of the March budget, which has now been spent in time for the end of the financial year.
TB: Refund clause.
GB:no
TB. It is a £400,000 logo
GB: Very good one.
TB No one pays £400,000 for a bad logo...It's very dynamic, modern yet classical.
GB: It is the London 2012 Logo.
TB: I do feel a headache coming on though.

3. Designer was just too busy.

Courier: I'm here to pick up the Olympic logo for the printers.
Designer: Can you get it, it's the one on the left, I have my hands full.
Courier: You sure its the one on the left.
Designer: Yes, the left.
Courier: This garish kind of crayon job.
Designer:That's a bit harsh but yes that one.
Courier: Looks like a child's drawing.
Designer: Everyone's a critic.
[Courier leaves]
Designer returns to his desk.
Designer: That's strange the logo design is still here. Ah well, now where is my 5 year old daughters little logo that she did for me. That's strange its not here.

And the rest they say is history...

[Disclaimer: Please note these are fictional accounts, if I have hit on the truth of the matter it was purely by accident. I have not received any confidential information from any of the organisations named above or any organisation involved with the design of the logo. This is a purely fictional account for amusement only.]