The Sticks of Death Shop

Now that we have banned smoking in public spaces and made smokers out to be complete social criminals how much more pressure can we bring to bear without just getting on and making smoking illegal.

Well take the word cigarette, it is still quite an innocuous name, doesn't really fully describe what is being sold. So what about we go all out and just call them "sticks of death" after all that's what they basically are.

Which got me thinking on a kind of sketch based around buying some death sticks. It is comedy with a serious message, we might laugh but there is an obvious warning of tragedy ahead. Call it a public information sketch.

If comedy can have a style then this would be in the style of a Monty python sketch.

The 'Sticks of Death' shop sketch

Assistant: How can I help you sir?

Customer: I would like some death sticks, please.

Assistant: What sort of death stick would you like sir?

Customer: What have you got?

Assistant: We have gruesome death, quick death, slow drawn out rattling death, foaming blood at mouth death, linger for years death, or you could try painful death.

Customer: How about something milder, like 'live a full life, be cool and die of old age death' sticks.

Assistant: I think you will find the candy store is next door for candy death sticks sir.